Day 43: Traveling further

📍 Location: Toronto, Ontario, CA

In one of my first blog posts I wrote that I was expecting this journey to be like a rollercoaster. Traveling alone for the first time so far away from home was bound to become an experience with huge ups and downs. It would be emotionally challenging when the loneliness and the desire to go back to your family and friends might get to you. But I knew that that was also something I was looking for. I wanted to know how I would handle a situation like that.

The further I traveled, the more I enjoyed myself. Every place so far turned out to be amazing. Each time I was able to surround myself with great and inspiring people. To make new friends. It felt like luck was on my side. The rollercoaster ride went up. More up, further up. So far up that I started to become more and more afraid of it to fall down at some point. Something that was almost inevitable because there would be a time where everything wouldn’t turn out to be that great. I felt more scared and emotional each time when I traveled to the next destination, afraid that it wouldn’t be as great as the last ones.

So saying goodbye to yet another city - Toronto this time - was emotionally hard for me again. And the idea of getting on a night bus that would take me in ten long hours to Chicago also didn’t help. I guess that calling your mother while crying your eyes out is part of it. To hear some comforting words before you have to pull yourself together again. I need to tell myself that I have to stop being afraid of what’s coming next. And instead start looking forward to it. Because what’s the worst that can happen? If I don’t like a place, I’ll just go on. And feeling like shit somewhere is also something that I wanted to experience as I said. To see if I can still enjoy myself even then and make the most out of it.